“Dead Ex-Husband” is a phrase that takes a reader on a journey, I know. The “dead” enters the room first, letting you know the story is a tragedy. The “husband” on the end brings with it into the room all the trappings of marriage, as they exist in a given reader’s mind: this is someone I knew and loved more deeply and intimately than anyone else on earth, at some point in time. But that tricky “Ex-”. Sandwiched right in between. Calls into question the nature of our relationship at the time of his death. Calls into question my right to tell the story of his death, or even his life, especially any chapters of which that did not feature me as a love interest, or a major character at all.
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